The Customer Complaint

Dear Mr. Coe, I have to say
	Your ship is quite a mess.
My wife and I were on today
	With two important guests,
And though we paid a lot of cash
	For fun, my friends and I,
Our hopes were very early dashed
	And let me tell you why.

A rude and vicious lady
	Made us sit beside the motor,
While a waitress straight from Hades
	Made us pay for tea and water.
Our party was the last to dine
	On what the rest had left.
To say the beans were crisp, is kind.
	The meat was certain death!

On the ship were far too many.
	The band, our eardrums cracked!
Fun?  We hadn't any.
	Please, mail our money back!


       The Manager Answers

Dear Mr. Jones, I'm sorry
	To read of your distress.
I seldom have to answer claims.
	You've put me to the test.

The rude and vicious lady
	Who you found to be precocious
Was packed into a box today,
	And mailed to Nova Scotia.
And the waitress, nasty harlot,
	Who so charged you for iced tea...
We took away her serving tray
	And tossed her in the sea.

The beans, I fear, are just as crisp
	As when you were last here.
We've found the band sounds quiet, though,
	With crisp beans in your ears.
We hope that you'll come back again,
	And take another sail.
And, well... about your refund,
	The check is in the mail.